Starting a day, a normal day

Well it's Thursday, 2 days from the weekend, I'm dying to have this weekend, because it starts to be very stressful these last weeks.
I have to deal with a wedding this Friday and Saturday, a wedding of my cousin... to be honest I don't like weddings parties, I don't like the crowded places, especially that I need to relax now, and with our Moroccan parties where everyone is talking and asking, and fighting for places to take :s yeah I know, it's really strange over here with our traditions... it doesn't mean that I dislike all theses traditions, but I do really love some of them, for example the traditions of food, ans especially when my mom is the one who made those recipes.

Back to wedding, well I have to go to wedding this weekend as I already said, but I don't want to go, as I mentioned also... In most times the thing that I don't want to do, finish by me liking it, so deep inside I think I will like it because I hate it in first times.

Today I start my day by hating my work, the wedding I start to talk about in first lines of this article, and hating waking up at 04:00 am. Oh yeah I woke up at 04:00 am today, and what did I do? well just thinking about things I hate... and there is another thing that have been added to my hate list, well the fact to wait a death of someone you love, yeah it's rare and strange "waiting someone you love to die", well because I don't have any other choice, this is why, I'm no more the person I used to be, I've changed a lot, because of that Da** team I work with, a team that make me hate coming to work every morning.

But in the other hand, I have to work, I have to come to work, or I'll start being a heavy weight on my family, and then on myself. in your opinion what should i do? what choice I have to take in that situation?
Living with people that Expect a lot from you, expect things that you don't want to do, but you should do tio keep them satisfied.... I hate living through the flow of the expectations of the people, and I love this hate on me, but what should I do when it's your parents who does this, your parents who expected a lot from you...

I have a lot on my mind, and in this time I really need my lover to tell him all what keeping me away from those feelings, my lover that I wait his death, because as I already said I don't any other choice to do, because he wants to live away, and far from people who could care about him.

And you know, I just don't hate those girls around me here in the office, no but they make me hate myself that I became hating my self because of them, I feel now so indifferent about what the hell they think about me, the ones who don't want to talk to me, I won't talk to them back , I'm not their family or even their friend I'm just a colleague, so they can leave me in peace by their silence.

at the end, feel free to consult the photos from that big wedding I will attend the weekend :)
Have a nice Thursday .

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