A pre-funeral's Eulogy

N.K.'s was a very smart girl, from her early age she had expressed some particular intelligence that I was may be the only one to remark it.

N.K.'s was a big heart person, with tremendous love and care towards all people, the bad and the good (as all the other humans like to describe themselves), but not her, she, otherwise, liked to treat all people in the same way, because she saw that the way we treat each-other is the only way that make others judge us with the "bad" or "good" adjectives.

Yes she was at some point obsessed with leaving the world with a good trace to be remembered of, for long years she was working on that, but at the end of her days, she discovered that it wasn't that important neither for her nor for the world, In fact, she started believing that all what she'll leave are more scars, so it would be better to minimize them.

She worked hard to fulfill her dreams, to see her wishes come true, she believed in love, in a way that none can imagine, she wanted to be loved and to love in a freely way, she was let down by her first love, than the second, than the others that followed, than she started believing that love isn't just the one that lead to marriage and building families, love is in every breath we take in in every breathe we take out, that the love can be our smiles in our acts, in our understandings of others' behaviors, love is a something "Godly" that we have to practice like our prayers.

I loved her, and I still love her, and I will always love her, she was my one and only love,my one and only mate, my one and only friend, she was my smile, she was my laugh, she was my hero, I see myself in her, and I don't know how will I continue my life without her by my side.

She believed in me, and in everyone she meets, she gave love with no conditions, she gave chances to be good at her and at the others, she taught how to be good, how to see the world differently... She is that amazing person that everyone with no exception keep disappointing with no limits, and she cried a lot the nights because of it, but the next mornings she wore her smile and defeat all the obstacles you build to make her regret her principles, to make her regret her love-giving.

I will miss her,

She wasn't an angel, she wasn't sinless, no no no,she did awful things most of them to herself, but she was always saying "may others forgive me, may the ones I hurt intentionally or unintentionally forgive me" I forgive you N.K. I forgive you and I wish I could have you back just for one second to hug you tightly, because I know how much you loved being hugged.


N.B. I will always love you darling, always.

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